I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I need to stop coming to work sober
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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