I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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