Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
