Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
