Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
