Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
