biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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