No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
