so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
