It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
