dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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