what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it glows. i had to have it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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