the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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