The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
