i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
