i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
