The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
