Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
