Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
