He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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