What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
