wanna go halves on a baby?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize