Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
