Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am naked and annoyed.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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