we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You made out with two different species that night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize