Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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