omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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