in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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