she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
