His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i drank out of a bidet.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Randomize
