sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
