whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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