a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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