He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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