she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
