I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
