i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
