I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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