sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
