6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think my mom watched the whole time
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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