Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
