Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
