I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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