Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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