she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
