I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
