whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
