That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
