I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
