I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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