Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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