dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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