He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
