would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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