YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
