i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
third nipple confirmed
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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