That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
