oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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