I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
