That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
