is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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