yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize