i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
