me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
