You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
